A year ago, I would have laughed if you told me that my hubs was even considering adding another kiddo to the mix. Recently, it sounds as if he thinks the idea would be okay...he might want a little more spacing between them than I do, but I'm not going to get picky about that. :) I dunno, I guess for me it has never been a question - it's either none or at least two because I don't want the challenges that come with raising an only child. It's not something I'm familiar or comfortable with and I, personally, had a good experience growing up with a sibling.
Anyway, all of that aside... I just really love names. I am NOT pregnant. It was an emotional and exciting ordeal choosing Tobin's name (or his possible girl name, Cassidy, which is now out of the new girl name line-up because it just seems wrong to give that name to a different baby)...and I just can't get enough of researching and putting different combinations together. It's like an addiction. I know I drive my hubs crazy with it, always asking, "Do you like this? Why don't you like this? Isn't it cute, though?" But, again, I am not pregnant and not planning to be in the "family way" until at least August 2012. Is it weird I put a date to it? Yes. But if I don't, I feel like I don't have anything under control. And boy do I need control sometimes. A lot of the time. :D
I've also been struggling with some weird guilt issues. I feel guilty that I have lost weight (I am actually around 15lbs less than I was before I had a baby). Why should I be guilty about that? I'm healthy, I eat well, I treat my body well. I feel hurt when I'm told I need to eat some candy...I feel hurt when I'm told I need to go ahead and eat some pizza, it's good for me (which is kind of a double-whammy because I actually WANT to eat pizza and WOULD, if gluten didn't give me annoying migraines). I actually needed to prove a point to my hubs, who (I know he didn't mean to be negative) told me that I was getting too skinny...so I put on a pair of pants that used to fit when we started dating (and he used to think I was mighty hott-looking, mind you). So there. I shouldn't feel bad for making healthy choices. I shouldn't feel bad for achieving my very lofty weight-loss goals! And for those that think I don't indulge, that's bull. I LOVE to eat. I LOVE food. I just try to control myself a little more than I used to.
Eek! I need to get to bed, pronto.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Longing to Stay Home
Today I found myself thinking a lot about being able to stay home with Tobin. I know a lot of moms out there love the freedom of being able to work...but I just find all of it draining. I love the people I work with and appreciate that I have a flexible job; I just can't get over the fact that I want to be home with my little guy. I can't say that I find my job incredibly fulfilling (creatively OR financially)...and I often feel like I'm not important. If I'm completely honest, I feel taken for granted sometimes. Blah. I shouldn't be so down. My hubs says we can try to figure out everything once taxes are all over. I would never again expect any Christmas or birthday presents if he told me I could stay at home with our boy!
I have to laugh sometimes when I think about how serious Tobin is most of the time. Always thinking, always trying to figure out how to do something. It's amazing. I'm so looking forward to when he decides to start talking; I have a feeling I'll be doomed! Dave is really looking forward to that as well. He'll never be quiet once he gets started. Already, he's a crazy man with his signing. All I ever see is the sign for "food" or the sign for "milk" (which kind of defaults as anything in his sippy cup). :D Now he also puts his hands up and out to sides as "all done" in his high chair. It's pretty cute. I'm surprised at how much his eating has slowed down. I mean, thank goodness, because that kid was a black hole for the first year of his life. What I thought was picky eating was actually just not being interested in eating much anymore.
I suppose that's enough for now. Time to switch FMA discs...and the Lunesta is kicking in anyway. :)
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Milestone Update
Oh gosh, I'm so bad about updating...a lot of things going on, but I'm sure I don't really need to explain. :)
Tobin is currently 13.5 months and running around like a crazy guy. He is so intense, sweet, loving, silly, and always surprising us with new things. He's too smart for his own good sometimes and loves to use the sign for "food" to his advantage. Anytime mommy or daddy has something to eat, he needs to get in on it. I really want to get him to learn the sign for "diaper" in hopes that he can tell me when he wants his diaper changed (when we are in a public place). At home, if I ask him if he has a poopy, he will walk to his room where we normally change diapers...so I know he recognizes the fact that he went, anyway.
As far as actual talking...he's not to interested. :D He will say Dada and Mama and (his very favorite word, it seems) Hi! The rest is in his own special Tobin-language...which I am beginning to understand, hilariously enough. I swear today in his high chair he said, "Mama, all done!"
Which brings me to a great story! We got Tobin an indoor play tent for Christmas this year. It also comes with a tube that can connect to the side of it. We took it out New Year's Eve for him to chase around in...he loved it. Dave put the tube away at bedtime so the cats wouldn't mess with it. In the morning, Dave got up with Tobin and they played around in the tent. Dave was hiding in it and meanwhile, Tobin got the tent packaging and brought the box over to Dave...and then pointed at the picture of the kid playing in the tube over and over. SO CUTE. Smart little bugger. So, of course, Daddy took the tube out, too.
Meal-times are getting a little problematic these days. He's very much interested in anything other than what he has to eat on his tray. I'm sure things will get a little better once he sees that Mommy makes him eat what he has or he doesn't get much to eat. We're not mean about it in any way...it's just that I am not going to deal with a picky eater. Or maybe he's just too excited about running around now. Not sure!
Cloth diapering still rocks pretty hard. I love it. I will soon be starting to use cloth wipes as well (because the disposable wipes tend to hurt his bum if he gets a diaper rash). Plus, if I'm going to be washing diapers, I might as well be tossing the wipes in there as well. There are so many great and easy "recipes" for making your own solution, too. Fun!
I still dream about being able to stay home with him. I feel like life would be so much easier for us...and fun. It's not a very "ambitious" dream according to most people, but I would really cherish the time at home. Not to mention, get some serious chores and personal small business stuff taken care of during nap time!
Tobin is currently 13.5 months and running around like a crazy guy. He is so intense, sweet, loving, silly, and always surprising us with new things. He's too smart for his own good sometimes and loves to use the sign for "food" to his advantage. Anytime mommy or daddy has something to eat, he needs to get in on it. I really want to get him to learn the sign for "diaper" in hopes that he can tell me when he wants his diaper changed (when we are in a public place). At home, if I ask him if he has a poopy, he will walk to his room where we normally change diapers...so I know he recognizes the fact that he went, anyway.
As far as actual talking...he's not to interested. :D He will say Dada and Mama and (his very favorite word, it seems) Hi! The rest is in his own special Tobin-language...which I am beginning to understand, hilariously enough. I swear today in his high chair he said, "Mama, all done!"
Which brings me to a great story! We got Tobin an indoor play tent for Christmas this year. It also comes with a tube that can connect to the side of it. We took it out New Year's Eve for him to chase around in...he loved it. Dave put the tube away at bedtime so the cats wouldn't mess with it. In the morning, Dave got up with Tobin and they played around in the tent. Dave was hiding in it and meanwhile, Tobin got the tent packaging and brought the box over to Dave...and then pointed at the picture of the kid playing in the tube over and over. SO CUTE. Smart little bugger. So, of course, Daddy took the tube out, too.
Meal-times are getting a little problematic these days. He's very much interested in anything other than what he has to eat on his tray. I'm sure things will get a little better once he sees that Mommy makes him eat what he has or he doesn't get much to eat. We're not mean about it in any way...it's just that I am not going to deal with a picky eater. Or maybe he's just too excited about running around now. Not sure!
Cloth diapering still rocks pretty hard. I love it. I will soon be starting to use cloth wipes as well (because the disposable wipes tend to hurt his bum if he gets a diaper rash). Plus, if I'm going to be washing diapers, I might as well be tossing the wipes in there as well. There are so many great and easy "recipes" for making your own solution, too. Fun!
I still dream about being able to stay home with him. I feel like life would be so much easier for us...and fun. It's not a very "ambitious" dream according to most people, but I would really cherish the time at home. Not to mention, get some serious chores and personal small business stuff taken care of during nap time!
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